He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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