I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
