If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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