Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
