Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize