Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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