Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize