OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
