and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize