Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He has the fingertips of a God
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