he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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