Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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