Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
