Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just want to make out with him forever
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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