I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize