Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
only you would photoshop your dick
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
