you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize