There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
