he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She said her name was "party"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Come on in and take your pants off
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