Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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