i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
