i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
