I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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