I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize