i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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