Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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