Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think I died a long time ago.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
