my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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