just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
