I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
