You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize