I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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