But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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