You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
