she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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