Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
