Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize