yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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