I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
