id be glad to
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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