I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
