someone threw a dead crab at me
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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