I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize