the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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