Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
