we have pet lesbian snakes
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
