Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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