DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
