I got chris browned last night
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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