So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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