The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
