Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He better not be in your backpack
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
