We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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