Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
