shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
