So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just had sex on a roof
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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