dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
