Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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