My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
