no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
