I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
tell me about the fingering
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