I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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