i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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