i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
