And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
