My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
