oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
