Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize