I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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