Church boner. Awkwardddd
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is Oprah even human
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
